Understanding Anger


“But now put away and rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, bad feeling toward others, curses and slander, and foulmouthed abuse and shameful utterances from your lips!”

Colossians 3:8

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain

We have all dealt with anger, but many of us don’t understand the consequences of anger.  We do more damage to ourselves with anger than the person that receives our anger.  It is important for us to face our anger and start discovering exactly why we are so anger. 

The first step to healing is discovering we have an anger problem.  During this time of discovery, we must admit that the anger is real and that we need healing.  It is vital that we know the healing process will take time and energy.  Each time we deal with our anger, we will feel drained.  We may actually feel like giving up, but it is necessary to feel these emotions and press through.

As we discover our anger problem, we may feel ashamed and hurt by our own imperfections.  This is where we need to forgive ourselves and understand that we are human.  Everybody has an imperfection that they must work on.  At least, we are doing something about this problem and not leaving it to fester.  The longer it takes us to face the problem, the more time and energy it will take for healing. 

Now, after we have admitted the problem and are ready to work on it, it is time for the second step.  The second step is to figure out why we are so angry.  This is not a time for just dwelling on old memories, but a time to explore and get healing from our past and present.  Surprisingly, some of us may be angry because we feel our future is grim.  The past, present, and future should have no hold over us, but we allow them to rule over us. 

Our memories are like a photo album, so we can flip through our mental photo album and see each memory.  As we look at each memory, we need to focus on our feeling when we look at the memory.  Does anger or hurt feelings arise when you remember the event, or is there peace and joy?  If there is anger or hurt feelings, this is one of the spots that could be causing the anger.  Don’t stop at one memory.  Go through and look at them all, because most of us are angry over multiple things.  We need to make a list of the hot spots as we go through our memories.

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