“Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.”
James 1: 19
Next, we need look at our list of anger and hurts. As we examine the hot spots, we need to ask ourselves who or what hurt us or made us angry. This is very tough, because we are still holding on to the feelings. If we feel angry during this time, we need to breathe and ask God to take the anger and hurt away. It is important to verbally say, “I forgive whatever or whoever hurt me and made me angry.”
As we allow God into the pain and give Him the freedom to heal us, we will slowly feel the anger drain from our bodies. The one thing to remember is that the feeling of anger likes to creep back into our lives, so we need to immediately forgive the person or situation as feelings arise.
This is a process that takes time. When we deal with memories, we need to deal with them one at a time, so, once we are healed from one memory, we must turn to the other memories that are keeping us in bondage. Many times, this is a cycle and can take a few months to several years, because we feel so much pain and need to learn to forgive.
Forgiveness does not come naturally, so it is a learning process. Of course, there are some people who are more fluent in forgiveness, so it is less of a challenge when hurtful situations occur. For the rest of us, we have to learn forgiveness, and we need to constantly remind ourselves to forgive. After awhile, forgiveness does become easier if we are constant. We need to constantly be aware of our feelings toward people and situations, so we can make the necessary changes and forgive quickly.
“Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).”
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense.
Proverbs 19: 11
Challenge: Every step we talked about in this blog, go through and complete for yourself. Write them out in a journal and look back at it when you complete the process. You will see where you started and how far you have come.
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